Raspberries
by Falconfire
Summary: [Oneshot] [NejiTen] Neji wakes up one morning, surrounded by the scent of raspberries. What smells like raspberries? Why, Tenten, of course! Enter poor Tenten, who is now convinced the prodigy has gone mad. Beware Neji OOCness.


Yay! Another NejiTen for all you wonderful people. Neji is a little OOC, but all the more for humor, then.

--

**Raspberries**

--

It was just another lovely spring morning at the house of our favorite kunoichi. The sun was shining, the clouds were puffy, and the sakura blossoms floated gently toward the ground.

There was also a need to mention that said exquisite sakura blossoms littered the roads in such mounds that Tenten swore she would need snow boots and a shovel by the end of the season.

Larks by her window twittered their optimistic chirrups until her crazy 70-year-old neighbor shot one down, complete with a yell of "Damn birds these days…"

They didn't come back. (a/n: I wonder why…)

Charmingly perfect weather had Tenten in high spirits for a few days afterwards, until the wonderful spring rains came and flooded all her poor primroses. She wasn't too happy after that, and a few days later, the heads of all the pretty flowers in the park were suspiciously sliced clean off.

But, you know, other than all that good stuff, it was a lovely spring morning, complete with hay fever from our beloved bumbling blond.

On this wondrously innocent morning, Tenten rose up with a throbbing headache. Oh, how it pained!

Ah, scratch that, wrong headache. Those were from banging her head against the wall after constantly having rather uh…unsuitable thoughts about a certain Byakugen-using teammate of hers.

_Teammate_. See? Wasn't it such a pretty word? _Teammate_. Just a teammate.

Oh, who was she kidding? She was obsessed, and nothing showed the evidence as well as this new headache: a little voice inside her mind chanting: Neji Neji Neji Neji…

She shook her head. Disconcertingly, the voice did not go away.

'_WTF?_' The weapon's mistress thought. What could she do but go about her usual schedule? Which, by the way, was exactly what she did.

--

On the other side of this youthful Konoha morn, Neji woke early as well (And, might we add, from a 'censored for mature content' dream about…guess who.) What a coincidence! Everything seemed to be going normally for him. Alas, he was to realize that his life would soon take a rather, ah…bumpy route.

As the young prodigy took a sip of his confidential, chakra-enhancing elixir (also known as coffee), the whiff of raspberries invaded. He thought it rather odd. There were only three things he knew that carried a scent that was like raspberries. The first one was a raspberry. The second was raspberry scented products. The third was…

His groan could be heard all through the Hyuuga complex.

The third was Tenten.

--

Far away, near the training grounds, Tenten abruptly sneezed.

"Hm, that's funny." She thought. "Someone must be thinking about me."

No matter. It was probably her teddy bear, Pooky. Pooky was always thinking about her. Tenten beamed to herself as she pictured his fuzzy brown fur and-

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

**Tenten: **-whacks author with a mallet- I'm supposed to be fantasizing about Neji, not some dumb teddy bear!

**Falcon: **Oh yeah…

Okay, back to story.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

-as she pictured his translucent pearl eyes and Pantene Pro-V shampoo model worthy hair, which, might we add, sways ever so gently along with the breeze.

Her mind away in the world of fantasies commonly referred to as La-La-Land, Tenten took no heed of the note from Gai-sensei lying on a tree stump, informing her that Lee and he had long since embarked on their standard 500 laps around Konoha, and would be back at about 9:00AM. It further instructed her and Neji to begin training without them.

Absentmindedly, the weapon's mistress took out a few kunai and began juggling. Her consciousness was finally brought back to earth when one of the weapons nicked her thumb.

"Owie!" She squeaked, much like a seven-year-old, and began to suck on the wound.

--

At precisely the same time, Neji, who was nearly choking on the cloud of raspberry scent that followed his sprint to the training grounds, had just literally "hit" the last straw when he crashed into a huge oak.

Tenten, sitting cross-legged, sucking on her thumb like a toddler, finally realized the ridiculousness of her position just as a loud thud and "AAAAAAAAAAARRRGHH!" was heard from the tree beside her.

O.o The girl blinked in confusion. Last time she checked, trees did not talk. Did they?

"Uh…hello?" She ventured, so as not to offend the plant.

"STUPID F---ING SCENT!" was what came from the tree.

"Oh dear." Last time she checked, trees most definitely did NOT swear. She hoped.

However, this voice sounded oddly familiar. After careful deliberation, and finally reaching the conclusion that the hollow in the trunk would not swallow her if she came too close, Tenten peeked around the trunk, and leaned down to make sure the Hyuuga wasn't dead.

Deep within the murky waters of blissful unconsciousness, Neji felt the raid of raspberry-ness fade for a moment. He was about to cry with joy when a sudden sharp twinge between his ribs oh-so-rudely interrupted the moment.

Poke.

No response.

Poke.

Nothing.

Poke.

Nope.

Poke.

…

Tenten sighed. She would try one more time before calling a medic.

Pokepokepokepokepokepo-

Neji's eyes flew open and, when he recognized the girl in front of him, jumped away from her, before proceeding to scream like a little schoolgirl.

"AYYIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE…

Covering her ears she shrieked, "Shut up, Neji!"

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE---"

She slapped him.

The genius dropped like a stone. As soon as his back hit the ground, Neji twitched and began curling in to the fetal position, where he lay, shuddering, with occasional whimpers escaping from his throat.

Tenten just stared.

And stared.

And stared.

And quickly took out a Kodak instant camera from her weapons pouch, snapped a shot, snickered, and returned it, before crouching down beside him to ask in an overly-dramatic voice, "Oh, Neji-kun, whatever is the matter?"

Between his sobs, (of which Tenten was beginning to get rather tired of,) he managed to utter exactly three comprehensible words: "Raspberries…scent…EVERYWHERE!" Before he subsided into unintelligible gibberish again.

Repeating those three little words inside her mind, (and, mind you, those three little words were most definitely NOT "I love you",) Tenten decided upon the only course of action sanely possible at the moment: Take advantage of him.

(NO! Not like THAT, you pervs!)

Slowly, a wicked grin spreading across her features, as her fingers deftly undid her buns.

"You don't like raspberries, Neji?" She purred.

-whimper-

"Well, too bad." With that, pushed him over onto his back, and laid her head down on his flat stomach, ensuring that her just washed, razzle-dazzle-berry hair flopped right into his face.

"………..!" Neji's body gave a final jerk before he collapsed into a faint.

--

When the two green beasts of Konoha returned to the training grounds ten minutes later, it was to find Tenten humming as she put her hair up again, and a Neji glowering at her with his patented Hyuuga Death Glare like there was no tomorrow. Apparently, he had finally overcome the raspberry trauma.

"Hi Lee, Gai-sensei! Guess what, I knocked Neji out!" She chirped cheerfully.

_CLANG! _

Two jaws simultaneously crashed to the ground. Now, how could they make clangy sounds while in a grass field? No one knows…

Lee recovered first.

"WHY, OUR BEAUTIFUL FLOWER HAS BLOOMED AT LAST! SHE HAS TRIUMPHED OVER THE EVIL RIVAL THAT I HAVE SO LONGED TO DEFEAT! YOU HAVE TAUGHT HER WONDROUSLY!"

"NO LEE! IT WAS YOUR HARD WORK INSPIRING HER!"

"THANK YOU, GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

And they embraced amid a poignant backdrop of a sunset over the ocean, with a few dolphin thrown in for a realistic effect, before skipping jollily into said sunset.

--

Meanwhile, back with our moody prodigy…

"………"

"Aww, stop sulking, Neji. I only told them the truth…" She retorted playfully.

"You did not tell them the entire truth." He grumbled. "And I do not sulk." He added broodingly.

"Oh, but Neji-**_kun_**, aren't you so **_proud_** of me for my victory?" Tenten gave him a puppy face, pouting as she leaned toward him.

"…………………………" The Hyuuga turned away, a faint pink tinting his cheeks. Much to his chagrin, she caught it, and smirked.

"You're such a child."

He sniffed, not noticing as she inched closer.

"Fine, does ikkle Neji-kuns want something to make his boo-booed pride fweel better?" She cooed.

Ignoring the babying voice, he turned, interest perked, only to have his white eyes widen in surprise as soft lips pressed onto his own.

Like all sweet things, the kiss was short, and before he had time to react, Tenten pulled away, stuck her hands in her pocket, and walked away to hide the red now staining her own cheeks.

"See you tomorrow, Neji."

He gaped after her, speechless, all dignity forgotten, a hand unconsciously trailing up to his mouth.

The abruptness of it all left Neji in a state of shock so profound that it wasn't until he reached the Hyuuga mansion that he realized her lips had tasted, not of raspberries, but of apples.

**Owari**

--

I swear I was not high when I wrote this. But then again...how does one know one is high on sugar? Apples remind me of Tenten, so I threw that in. Plus the fact that I'm eating an apple right now. Does that mean I'm eating Tenten? -blanches-

**Tenten: **AHHHH! Evil cannibal author! Save me, Neji!

**Neji: **...Nah. This is my revenge.

**Tenten: **Neji no baka! ...What if I kiss you?

**Neji: **-_squirms_- Fine.

**Falcon: **-_gulp_- Er, heh heh...so uh...Review please! -_runs away screaming with Neji behind her_-


End file.
